


Dread

by nyoungcat0913



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, slight military fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 22:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4937383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyoungcat0913/pseuds/nyoungcat0913
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all see movies on how the wife/lover of a soldier dreads that one knock at the door and that one news it delivers...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not edited. Just copied and pasted this from word... lol  
> Excuse the mistakes if any...and please enjoy...

PROLOGUE:

 

"Jackson!" Jaebum calls for the man running, panting heavily beside him. Jackson turns around just in time to see the other man pointing to a small clearing on their right. Cautiously, they eyed their surroundings before dashing towards the clearing. "What do we do?" Jackson says quietly, breathing heavily next to Jaebum. Jaebum, on the other hand, thinks. What should they do? Where would they go? Any second now, the enemy will be right on their tails and in that moment, Jaebum knew, everything will end.

Finally, Jaebum sees a small hole at the far end of the clearing. Well hidden behind a fallen tree and dead leaves. He points to it to Jackson. "There. We should be safe there." He whispers, afraid someone might here. They ran towards the hole and when they were about a few meters away from it, they both realized that it was actually a cave. "Yeah. We should be safe here. But we gotta hide this hole well." Jackson looks around and notices the sun beginning to set somewhere in the west. "It'll be dark soon. We gotta hurry." He says. Jaebum nods and starts gathering leaves and torn branches around the area.

****

The night was cold and quiet. Both men gathered around their makeshift fire inside the small cave. "I can't wait to get outta here." Jackson says suddenly, sighing as he did. "What are you gonna do after this?" Jaebum asks, a little happy that at least Jackson was good company despite their current situation. "I dunno. Probably start a business or something. I could always go back to Hong Kong and coach the fencing team." The other man answers uncommittedly. "Honestly, I don't care. I just don't wanna go back to the fucking army." Jaebum laughs at the statement. They've been in this mission for years now. Sneaking in the enemy's base to rescue an important asset (or so they said back at camp). There were a few of them but he and Jackson got separated from the others as they were making their not-so-subtle escape. They both had no idea how the mission turned out, or if their comrades have made it back to camp safely. But he and Jackson knew, there's a small chance of rescue. They had to make do of running and continuously be cautious of their surroundings until they're both back safe and sound to the base.

"Are you still gonna stay with the army after this?" Jackson asks. Honestly, Jaebum doesn't really know what he would do after this mission. It was his dream to become part of the army, climb into the ranks and live happily ever after. But right now, right at this second, Jaebum becomes unsure. Probably because even before all this had happened, things have started to change. He wanted to go back home, he wanted to sleep in his bed, and for the first time in his life, he wanted to live quietly without all the danger, and action, he was content with what he was doing in his life before this very mission. "Jackson..." Jaebum starts, the other man looks at him, eyes glinting as the fire burns quietly between them. "If something happens to me, I want you to deliver the message to him." He says quietly.

Jackson grew quiet and Jaebum feels the other man's stare itching its way in his skin. Jackson is not one to like conversations as dark as this but he knew that their lives are pretty much uncertain. As long as they are both stuck in the middle of nowhere like this, nothing is absolutely certain for them. "Fuck you." Jackson fires at him and Jaebum laughs. "You're a lot stronger than I am, Im Jaebum. I never thought you'd turn into a pussy with something like this." he continues. "I'm just saying." Jaebum answers, smiling as he hid his fear of not knowing what will happen to them in the future. "No." Jackson retaliates, "YOU go back to Jinyoung safe and sound, yourself. I'm not your fucking messenger." Jaebum shakes his head but he knew it was Jackson's way of assuring him. He knew that no matter what, Jackson has his back so whether he says it or not, Jackson is going to keep that promise.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My love for this chapter is indescribable!!! <3

CHAPTER ONE:  
 _"I don't wanna wake you... I just wanna watch you sleep..."_  
  
It was around 3 in the morning and Jaebum lies awake in bed. Practically ogling at the sleeping figure before him.  
  
Calling Park Jinyoung would be an understatement for Jaebum. After all, to him, Jinyoung was basically God's greatest creation. He looks at the younger boy lovingly. Studies how he breathes ever so softly in his slumber; pink luscious lips slightly parted; and his eyebrows...how they would twitch every now and then and how they would furrow. 'Bad dream?' Jaebum wonders slowly lifting his finger, tempted to trace every curve and every edge of the other's face. And he did. He softly traces the space between Jinyoung's brows to ease them. Somehow give comfort for the other boy whose dream doesn't seem to be as angelic as his face. Jinyoung would sometimes have that, to Jaebum's surprise. Even though it was Jaebum's life that was traumatizing, it seems as if Jinyoung was the unfortunate one to carry such burden in his heart. And Jaebum understands...but that doesn't mean he's okay with it. And so he caresses the boy's face, careful to not wake him up.  
  
Slowly, Jinyoung's features would soften. Dreams suddenly easing and Jaebum smiles. 'Perfect.' He thought, 'Park Jinyoung you are perfect.'  
  
The sun has barely even risen and although Jaebum must soon find it in himself to finally rest, he didn't. He savoured every detail on Jinyoung's face as if afraid that once he closes his eyes, the other's face would disappear along with the faint light of dawn. And so, Jaebum remains awake. Staring lovingly at the person now peacefully slumbering before him. "I love you Park Jinyoung..." Jaebum whispers, even his breath careful not to wake the other up. "I love you even when my heart stops beating. I'll love you forever." He continues.  
  
Jaebum kisses Jinyoung's forehead as the sun slowly rises. It's rays finally shining from their open windows and so Jaebum starts to leave. Glancing for one last time the only love of his life. And he leaves.


	3. Chapter 3

Jackson checks his reflection for the nth time as he puts his uniform on that morning. He notices how red his eyes have grown and thinks he probably should wear sunglasses today as he sets off on his final mission. But he's not one to hide his feelings, especially to something as important as this. He looks at himself again, the dark circles under his eyes have grown worse. He sighs "Worst day of my life."  
  
He puts on his coat and marches down the stairs, off to a place where he dreads to go at times like these. His breathing shallow as he nears his front door. There's no turning back now. He reaches for his pocket, making sure the 'package' is safely hidden inside. It's there. His heart threatened to pound right out of his chest. He moves forward.  
  
On the way to his destination, Jackson couldn't help but wonder about the things that should have happened. He wasn't supposed to be in this position. He thinks, he's probably better off someplace else other than here, in this car, making his way towards Jaebum's home. "Aish.." He almost cursed. Almost. But he felt like it was pointless to try to convince himself things should have gotten the other way. And so, he quietly drove past several streets, making sure he would make his way there as slowly as possible.  
  
***************  
  
Jaebum sits on his front porch that morning, just aimlessly watching the sky. He thought about the things he could do for Jinyoung today as the other boy makes his way to work. He could probably start making breakfast, or wash the dishes, maybe even do laundry. But whatever chore he was sure he would do that day, Jaebum could only laugh to himself.  
  
"How odd..." He mumbles. His smile suddenly turns into a frown. Jaebum thought about that night. He thought about Jinyoung peacefully sleeping that morning before he left the room. He thought about the things he had done for the boy. About how big his love is for him. And how else can he repay Jinyoung for everything he has done for him. Because Jaebum believes he's unworthy. And he was sure, right before this day ends, Jinyoung would finally decide that he hates Im Jaebum. That all his time, love, and patience were wasted on a fool like him. It hurts to think about things like this, but Jaebum couldn't help but wonder.  
  
He was pulled away from his thoughts when a car pulled over up front. Jaebum frowns, "That bastard." He sighs. "He's too early." Eyeing Jackson who still hasn't made a move to get out of his car. The man just sat there, probably contemplating about what he should say, or what he would do. It was an incredible sight for Jaebum. Jackson has always been part of the 'ACT NOW, THINK LATER" squad. But why wouldn't he anyway? This is some huge mess they were both in. And so, Jaebum sat there, eyeing his friend from a distance. Fear rising up to his throat as he's about to throw up. But Jaebum manages to hold it in and reminded himself.....to breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

It was a usual day for Jinyoung. He'd start off with his daily chores, make breakfast for himself, feed the cat, do some early morning sweeps, and of course, his favorite thing to do, send emails to Jaebum. Although he knew that Jaebum wouldn't have time to read all of his messages, he knew Jaebum somehow manages. And so, Jinyoung moves about the house, busying himself with his daily chores. Nora, the cat that he and Jaebum adopted together, starts to follow him around. Oddly, even when Jinyoung finally gave Nora her food, she still wouldn't leave him alone. "What's wrong baby? You're not hungry?" Jinyoung asks as if the cat would answer back with a No, but Nora did respond though, she brushed her face on Jinyoung's feet over and over. Thinking that the cat was only being affectionate, Jinyoung proceeded to do his other chores.  
  
*******  
  
Jinyoung felt odd that morning, not to mention Nora's strange behavior around him. She still kept following him around, her food untouched on her bowl. She never left his side, not even while he was showering. She'd follow him to the bathroom and wait for him to finish, then she'd follow him again back to his bedroom and waits for him until he finishes dressing up. Nora would normally ignore him as he goes about his daily routine but today seemed different. And it was not just Nora. He woke up that morning feeling a bit anxious. He felt as if someone was watching him while he was sleeping but after making sure he was alone in the house, he decided that he was only probably dreaming. He tries to push the thoughts away from his mind and prays that today wouldn't turn out to be such a bad day.  
  
But alas, his prayer was not answered. It happened when he was about to type in his daily emails to Jaebum when the sound of a car parking in front of their house stopped him from his tracks. He noticed how alert Nora became, as if dreading of the visitor's presence. Jinyoung clutches his chest, reeling the worrying thoughts to the back of his mind. He hears someone close a car door, it's his visitor. He figures it was probably Jaebum, he's probably home. Finally. It didn't take long before he convinced himself that that was the case, and so, he straightened up his shirt. Stood up, and breathed in. He looked at Nora, who is watching the visitor from their window. "Your dad's probably home baby girl." He says but Nora didn't flinch. She just eyed the person standing outside his door almost warily. As if she's daring that person to knock on that door. He started to walk towards the cat but was interrupted when the doorbell finally rang. He sighs again, feeling oddly anxious. No one but Jaebum could make him feel that way. And so, he makes his way to open the door, smile decorating his face.


	5. Chapter 5

Jackson wished no one was home. He stood in front of Im Jaebum's door, forcing himself to calm down. He noticed the cat watching him from inside of the house. "Nora..." He mutters. The cat hated his guts, and she probably would hate her even more after this is over. He noticed the car parked neatly in the garage and he closed his eyes, mouthing a 'fuck!' under his breath. "I can't turn back now." He tells himself, "Come on Jackson..." and so he pressed the doorbell and as soon as he did, fear showered his guts. He wanted to run away, or probably hide.  
  
His face lost all it colors when he hears the door click. He struggles to keep his composure but failed him when he sees Jinyoung's smile disappear when he saw him by the door. He couldn't go back, he couldn't leave, his feet are glued on the floor and there's no way for him to escape. Jinyoung is also his friend and he didn't want to be the deliverer of the good news but he could see it on the other boy's face too, he knew what's about to come when he saw Jackson and they stood there in an awkward silence, one Jackson doesn't plan to be into all his life.  
  
**********  
  
Jaebum watches both Jinyoung and Jackson and he feels the tension building up with every minute they waste in this silence. He wants to interfere but he knew it impossible to do. And so Jaebum stands there with them in awkward silence, where all of them knew what this all means for all three of them but Jaebum accepts his fate. He accepts how he wouldn't ever be able to lie in bed with Jinyoung ever again. He knew that Jinyoung's peaceful sleeping that morning would be his last (at least for a while), and Jaebum knew, with all the pain and heartache that it brings, he won't be able to stay by Jinyoung's side every waking moment.  
  
He sees Jinyoung in front of him and Jinyoung can't. Not with the pain-stricken look in his eyes. Every partner of every soldier fears this moment, they all fear this silence, this ticking time bomb. He watched as the love of his life, slowly but surely breaking in front of him and he wanted so badly to ease the pain, but how? He can't even touch him anymore. Jinyoung won't be able to see him anymore What can he do now?  
  
***********  
  
_It was a quiet night in that cave. Both Jaebum and Jackson sat there, unable to sleep. "It's almost morning." Jaebum mutters softly. Jackson grunted in response, barely able to say something witty. He is drained, both of them, not an inch of humor left. Both wondering if they'll be able to get through this alive, but they have to remain positive, it's what needed to be done._  
  
_Jackson hated being on stand-by like this. It felt like they're just waiting for the enemy to run into them and get killed themselves. He hated waiting. And so he stood up, "I'm gonna go patrol the area or something..." He declares but Jaebum stopped him and said, "I'll go." Jackson almost forgot, Jaebum hated waiting even more. He was about to protest but Jaebum was quick to his feet, already making his way the entrance of the small cave they both occupy. Before finally leaving, he turns to look back at Jackson and smiles._  
  
_Jackson suddenly felt a wave of anxiety. He wanted to stop the other man from going, for some reason, he felt like he needed to but his feet are glued to the ground. He stood frozen in fear, for what reason, he doesn't even know, until he realizes Jaebum was already outside the cave, and several gunshots heard from around him._  
  
**********  
  
"Is this some kind of a joke?" Jinyoung scoffs, interrupting Jackson's thoughts. "You're scaring me with that face, Jackson." He fakes a laugh but Jackson knew better. Jinyoung's struggling to mask his emotions and so does he. "Jinyoung..." He begins but the other boy wouldn't let him. "Where's hyung?" He demands. And Jackson sighed. How the hell is he gonna say it? Where does he start? Jackson's mind panics and for whatever reason, he felt as if someone has been comforting him. Was it Jaebum? Was he trying to tell him to get it done already since he volunteered to do it in the first place? Jackson knew what needed to be done, he volunteered to do this on his own despite headquarters's orders. Im Jaebum was his best friend, and he wouldn't let some stranger bring the news of his death to the person who is most important to him and so, Jackson begins. He straightened his posture, struggles to maintain eye contact with Jinyoung but it had to be done.  
  
************  
  
Jackson started speaking in a manner Jinyoung was not used to. He convinced himself that maybe he and Jaebum might be playing a prank on him, and he decided that he hates it. But for some reason, Jinyoung sees that look in Jackson's eyes, he decided he hates it even more. Jackson Wang was not born to lie, he sucks at lying, and no matter how much he trained to, he probably won't ever be able to. Jinyoung refuses to listen to the words Jackson was saying "..regrets to inform you that your husband, Im Jaebum..." what is this nonsense? He and Jaebum were never married to begin with. And what's all this formality? Jackson was never a man for formalities. When did he become this prim and proper solider? He was about to laugh when Jackson says "..was killed in action..." "Excuse me?!" Jinyoung exclaims and Jackson stops speaking. "This isn't funny, Mr. Jackson Wang." he protested. But the other man took a deep breath and continued on with his report.  
  
After he finished his speech, Jackson looked down to his feet and mutters a soft "I'm sorry Jinyoung..." Jinyoung shakes his head, denial sinking its teeth on his skin. "No... Jackson stop this." Jackson sighs, "I'm sorry...I was there when it happened Jinyoung...I'm sorry."  
  
Jinyoung's world suddenly stopped spinning. How in the world did this happen. How are they sure that Jaebum had indeed died? "No..." he whispers as if to himself. His feet became a pile of mush, he struggles to his feet, body suddenly too heavy to carry his own weight. He leans by the door frame, eyes focused on Jackson. The other man, struggling to hold back his tears but Jinyoung sees it's there.  
  
In that moment, Jinyoung knew, all this is real. His entire world shattered in 2 minutes and he doesn't know how to get back to his feet. How can Jaebum leave him like this? He was patient, he waited for him for so long, so why isn't he coming back? The tears won't stop coming out, and Jinyoung struggles some more. Suddenly, a wave of warmth enveloped him. An invisible force trying to tell him that everything is gonna be alright. He wonders for a second if it was Jaebum, but when he opened his eyes, he realizes it was Jackson holding him. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." Jackson mumbles repeatedly, "It's all my fault, I'm sorry Jinyoung..." And despite the heartache he felt, Jinyoung couldn't bring himself to blame Jackson for this. He's not one to feel hatred and he's not about to start now. So Jinyoung places a reassuring hand on one of the arms that are holding him, "No, Jackson... Don't..." He says softly as if to whisper. "Please don't blame yourself..."


	6. Chapter 6

Epilogue:  
  
Jaebum watched the exchange with a heavy heart. It must've been very hard for the both of them right now. And knowing it was his fault that brought them all in this situation, Jaebum had no choice but to accept what fate had given them. His life stops here, and it's time for him to let go.  
  
As he stood there, watching Jackson comfort Jinyoung, he knew things will be alright. Jackson would keep his promise, and he would take care of Jinyoung. Jinyoung might end up falling in love with someone else, hopefully someone who would never leave him. Jaebum prays for his happiness, for both of their happiness and so Jaebum turns to leave, for one last time. But before he does so, he turns back, leans towards Jinyoung and whispers, "I'll love you forever. I'll be waiting for you baby.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry... I did this all on a whim and I've written this for more than a month now and I somewhat neglected it. This version hasn't been edited yet so please forgive me if I made some mistakes. By the way, if you love markson, I'm currently writing one. The theme might be heavier than all the jjp fics I've written combined so please watch out for it. Thank you for reading my fics!! :)


End file.
